Svetlanna's Place

No love, Good bye.

2006-08-27T13:42:00.000-07:00

We are over, so please let me go; I don't want to say yes, but it is too hard to say no.

I love you dear, you don't understand; But now i have got to take the upper hand.

I loved you once, i loved you true; I loved you because you said that you loved me too.

I hate you now, i hate you bad; I hate you because you made my heart go sad.

Why did you make promises that you could never keep? Why did i love you -or- think you were sweet?

Now take your memories, take you love; Take the stars you gave me to wear in my eyes and put them back in the sky above.

Don't worry about me, i'll be fine; I found someone to keep me together, someone else for me to call mine.

So please stop calling, don't try to keep in touch; You don't understand that it hurts me so much.

To whom this is to, i'm sorry....but it is what's best....Not only is it hurting me to keep you around, but it is hurting the people close to me as well. I didn't want to hurt you, i never wanted to do that...but as many times as you hurt me, i had to take a chance. Good bye

I can't stop

2006-05-24T21:44:00.000-07:00

I love him; It's true, he's all i think about, i can't stop talking about him, i dream about him and ohh the emotions that fly between him and i.I can't stop loving him, i fell in love and i can't/don't want to get out of it. I knoe he still loves mr, but i hurt him...i don't know how, but i did. I tried everything in my power to please him, but it was never enough. I want him back, but i'm told it's too late... He hurt me bad, but i have forgiven him, though i will never forget, i have alredy forgiven. He know's who he is and if he is reading this, this is for you; I still love you, i always have and always will; I'm sorry that i hurt you and broke your heart, i didn't mean to, i'm not even sure how....but i'm sorry. I want to be with you dearly, please forgive me for my mistakes; I say again, i love you, just know that. Sincerely, Shelynn P.S. You were right, he could never love me like you.

2006-04-21T13:15:00.000-07:00

i have been thinking a lot recently about my life and everything that is supposed to happen...i thought about the love i have shared, the love i have taken, the love i have given, the love that was used and he who took advantage of that love...i thought about what my life would be like without all of the above...i've thought about how my life could be different if i would have lived it for me instead of someone else...i thought about what my life would be like if i had taken better care of myself and loved myself as much i have loved...what if it was all different...? would i still be me? or a better version of me? or a worse version of me? i wonder.....

I don't want him to go......

2006-04-21T13:14:00.000-07:00

I am So tired of losing all that i have loved. Everytime i have love for someone -or- something, it is always raped and taken from me. I recently re-realized (is that a word? haha!) how terrified i am of falling in love.... Everytime someone get's "too close" i push them away, knowing how bad i want them to stay, but i am terrified that i might fall in love again. Tonight someone who means SOOOOO much to me came to me and said that they wanted to die; At that very moment, i died inside. That is the most selfish thing in the world....to take your own life, just because the decision's you have made, only made your life harder....And then another person who means the world to me said he is moving...okay, not far, ,but still....i already know that more than likely, we will lose contact with eachother and our friendship will become no more than another memory....IDK, i tried to go to sleep to get this day (yesterday 4/20/06) over with, but i woke up tossing and turning, then i got up and signed online to keep myself occupied for a little while....I think i am going to go lay down and talk on the phone now....buh bye!!

not nearly as weak as you assume....

2006-04-15T13:14:00.000-07:00

I'm not nearly as weak as you assume; My strength comes from God, can do anything through him and nothing -or- NO ONE can change that.My daddy and i were talking the other night and he told me that when he was in prison, he prayed for me; He said that he PRAYED for a strong doughter with a strong will, someone who is trying to make a difference in the world; And i am strong, just like he prayed i would be. So Stop looking down at me like i am nothing, stop acting like you are so much better than me because you don't "give in" easily, STOP IT!! I am a lot more than nothing and i don't give in easily, i know what i am doing and i know the difference between right and wrong. Stop pretending that you know me and everything about me, because in all reality, you know nothing about me at all!! Everyone who thinks they know so much about me, you don't! You don't even know the half of it........You may think that i "open up" to you and "tell you everything" i don't, i let out so much information and thats it! YOU DON'T KNOW ME -OR- ANYTHING ABOUT ME!! So stop trying to tell me how to live my life and what descisions i should make! I make up my own mind and i do exactly what i feel need's to be done; If you don't like it, too bad, you will just have to get over it.

It's on, until the break of Dawn.......

2006-03-28T20:48:00.000-08:00

When everything start to come together for you, it will never stay long enough for you to enjoy it....No matter what, SOMETHING ALWAYS MESSES IT UP -or- get's in the way. Most of the time it's either worldly thing's -or- emotions; So when the love of your life comes back for you, just like he promised to and doesn't want you to stay friends with a friend of yours, what do you do? STOP -- I know a few peoples answers already, "pray about it" -or- "give it to God" okay, i haven't stopped praying about it, and it's all in God's hands, because i can't handle it on my own. So now what do i do? STOP -- I know this one too, "wait for it" -or- "give it time" well, i don't want to. I mean, no duh! i'm going to have to wait either way, i have no choice, but i also have NO CLUE! I don't even know whats going on; So many mixed emotions, i don't know what to think -or- do. So as i sit here listening to Metallica "Sad But True" thinking of how i dream of it being my first song i dance to with my future husband, i don't know what to think, everything in my head is like a huge blurr right now. So i blog about it; Hoping that maybe if i write it down, it will be out of my head....SO NOT TRUE!! i can't just "stop thinking about it" IT hasn't left my mind since i first heard of it. I don't know what to do now..... I'm home for the first time in like 6 day's and i have no one to talk to about any of this stuff except for God.....but i am now alone and almost scared that i will do something stupid....End up making the wrong decision; end up not making a choice... I want it back though, i want to love again and feel the happiness that i once had and held dear....But i'm yet again afraid of the heartache that has still not left me. Knowing that our love will never end and i will never be able to hold the hand of another man, because it will never be the same, i want my Love back....I want it all back, but most of all, i want him to be happy again, i want to see him smile sincerely again, that is something i haven't seen in a long time. Will I be able to give him THAT smile back, probably not, but i will try. Though i don't want to lose the friendship between my friend and i.....Of course that friendship doesn't come close to amounting to the love i have for "the love of my life" but it means a lot to me anyway. I don't know what to do.

Git-Er-Done.....

2006-03-17T18:49:00.000-08:00

<<----That is the book that i will be breathing, sleeping and dreaming the next six months....wish me luck! <<--- And that is the beanie i just finished knitting....it was sold before i even finished it! lol~*~ Okay, well thats my update.....i didn't get any sleep, cuz i spent from 3P.M. - 7:30 A.M. talking to Beau (in numerous ways) so i am going to go....bye!

Don't tell me.

2006-03-17T02:02:00.000-08:00

Don't tell me i'm beautiful; Don't tell me you love me; Don't tell me that you are greatful and would put no one above me. Don't tell me i'm precious; Don't tell me i'm kind; Don't tell me your wishes and keep me on your mind. Don't tell me i'm worth it; Don't tell me i'm unique; Don't tell me i deserve it -or- that you dream of me when you sleep. Don't tell me anymore; I'm tired of all your lies!

Eternal Sea

2006-03-12T17:55:00.000-08:00

Eternal Sea My love for you is an eternal, boundless sea. Every drop in it's flowing waters is a tribute. A tribute to the exquisite beauty of your soul. Ceaselessly it flows and ebbs. Pulled by the tide created by you. Made with the essence of your grace that permates my very being. The wonders of you are limitless. Every day I discover something new. Every day my eyes open wider; they see things with a greater clarity than before. No mere words will ever compare to what lies in my sea. No, not my sea. But yours. And yours alone. Life itself cannot take it away. Forever does it belong to you, That eternal, boundless sea.

A Poem -- Reality just hit...

2006-03-09T23:06:00.000-08:00

You left me here without you, without knowing what would happen, I couldn't accept the truth that you didn't leave by accident, I had dreams that you were hiding and that you weren't really gone, the truth and I were fighting, I didn't want you to be done, The pain didnt win though and maybe it never will, If you could do that to your childrenthen you dont deserve for me to feel, I havent felt sad for you just really ashamed and mad, how could you be so selfish, just 'cause life got kinda bad, I cant say much more to you, Thats all i have to say, I hope you are happy now, You got it your way. December 13, 1960 - March 17, 2002 My Baby cousin (she's 14) wrote this about he mother.....My Aunt who i miss dearly.....

guess the song and artist :-D

2006-03-07T15:57:00.000-08:00

Oooh, she's on fire Oooh, she's on fire Hot to trot, she's a bit insane Little bit a pleasure With a little bit a pain I got to be smokin' So I know without a doubt Where there's smoke there's fire So I gotta boot it out Say oooh, she's on fire Oooh, she's on fire Homely child with a hang down lip Starved for love and companionship Little by little, catchin' up to me She's more of a woman Then I thought she'd be to me...yeah Hungry girl, she's the skinniest thing She's sayin' the word, I'm losin' sting? She's on fire She hung my head in a guillotine She's my flame, she's a wettin' my dream She's on fire Oooh, she's on fire Oooh, she's on fire Oooh, she's on fire Oooh, she's on fire

I'm angered by complicity....

2006-02-24T15:16:00.000-08:00

"Unlove Me"

Unloose this hold you've got on me Unlock this heart that can't get free Unlive the night you kissed and hugged me Undream the dreams that we both shared Unfeel the feelin' that you cared Before you leave me, please unlove me Unlove me Unmake all the memories I can't forget Unlove me Let me go back to the way I was before we met Back to the days when I was strong When it wasn't sad to be alone When I was happy-go-lucky And I didn't know how good it feltTo hold you and feel my heart melt Show me a little mercy and unlove me Unlove me Untie all the strings between your heart and mine Unlove me But do it real slow, so I don't have to lose you all at one time Before you pack your bags and leave One thing I wish you'd do for me Take a little time to just unlove me Unlove me Unmake all the memories I can't forget Unlove me Let me go back to the way I was before we met Unlose this hold you've got on me Unlock this heart that can't get free Before you leave me, please unlove me Show a little mercy and unlove me Julie Roberts

It's the beauty of simplicity....

2006-02-24T15:08:00.000-08:00

"It Ain't Me Babe"

Go 'way from my window Leave at your own chosen speed I'm not the one you want, babe I'm not the one you need You say you're lookin' for someone Who's never weak but always strong To protect you an' defend you Whether you are right or wrong Someone to open each and every door But it ain't me, babe No, no, no, it ain't me babe It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe. Go lightly from the ledge, babe Go lightly on the ground I'm not the one you want, babe I will only let your down You say you're lookin' for someone Who will promise never to part Someone to close his eyes for you Someone to close his heart Someone who will die for you an' more But it ain't me, babe No, no, no, it ain't me babe It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe. Go melt back into the night Everything inside is made of stone There's nothing in here moving An' anyway I'm not alone You say you're looking for someone Who'll pick you up each time you fall To gather flowers constantly An' to come each time you call A lover for your life an' nothing more But it ain't me, babe No, no, no, it ain't me, babe It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe. Bob Dylan

Simple, Yet True

2006-02-07T18:46:00.000-08:00

The "perfect" shoes, the "perfect" accessories and the "perfect" dress. It's beautiful, is it not? A simple combination of different accessories and colors all put together for one night. You will probably think about it, spend more time finding it and spend way more money buying it, weeks in advance, then you will wearing it the one night that you will be dreaming of from the day that "he" asks you to go with "him" The world, So beautiful, yet filled with so many "imperfections" No one notices it's true beauty anymore. The world; it's beautiful, is it not? God spent so much time making and creating all things, yet we don't spend time trying to find it's true beauty, nor do we spend money on keeping it beautiful. We hardly ever dream of the eternal life that we will get to spend with Him.

Ehh....

2006-01-30T13:38:00.000-08:00

Ehh, kind of tired today...this past weekend i hadn't slept for like 2 days then i stayed at a friends house....it was SOOOO nice, i slept oober good! I have been wondering around Mgalia and Paradise finding job Apps... Yay me! lol~*~ Uhh....my dad kind of "outed me" this weekend, he wont talk to me....he'll get over it. Well, i just thought i would post a quick blog and go, so i am done. bye!

dreamer....

2006-01-23T16:55:00.000-08:00

usually when i blog, i have something to complain about....right now, it's super hard to blog, because i have nothing to publically complain about....Last night i dreamt that i was at a wedding, no not Patricks, but i woke up, because i bit my tongue really hard and i was talking to my friend about it and she was like, "well is that how you feel? I think that honestly you are biting your tongue super hard just to let things work out the way that he wants them to, because you are scared to mess things up for him again." and i sighed and said, "i don't know, i guess i am happy for him....i just wish i could say how i feel about everything." So it totally got me thinking about my dream....cuz i was at A wedding, dancing with the groom and i woke up by biting my tongue....kind of strange. So i sat and pondered after i got off of the phone and i though, what if that IS what it is all about...what if it IS about Patricks wedding? Of course i will keep my mouth shut and let it be.....the way that i try to look at it is, "He made his bed and he is out of mine" i guess it's the only way to look at it right now....

Family Matters

2006-01-21T21:33:00.000-08:00

this is me with my other mom and Big sister Christa, i wish my little sister Lisa could have been there...but anyways~*~ this is something i call true happiness, cuz the whole time, i was smiling uncontrolabley....

I admire my daddy

2006-01-14T11:43:00.000-08:00

I admire everything about my daddy. When times are hard, he keeps me smiling and he will do anything to see his baby girl smile. Last night, i blogged about how crappy my day was well, and how crappy my night was, i guess, yest. was just crappy all in all. So today, my daddy woke me up early (though i got to sleep in, cuz i slept til 6:00 A.M.!! lol~*~) so that we could go to Paradise, just because. He knew i needed to get out of the house and to be honest, so did he.He keeps me sane in times of insanity, so i just wanted to state the fact that i admire my daddy.

i don't know...

2006-01-13T19:03:00.000-08:00

I don't know whats up with me today, Lifes crazy game of schemes are messing with me bad today. I don't get it, i have a good night, then the next day is like hell...I didn't do anything today, because i didn't want to. I woke up to my mother yelling, like always. My brother, Amanda and i actually got along today. idk what the hell is up with Beau right now...he's having a hard time with Denise, i guess... I'm really starting to hate the idea of my dad working, because my mother acts like she's fine when he is at work, but then when he gets home she is all "sick" again. She called Renee last night, trying to be sneaky at like 1:00 in the A.M. poor her, i was outside sitting in the cold; thinking, i guess and i was like, "who are you talking to?" i had to ask about 5 times before she answered, then she kind od stalled and said "renee" and started her conversation up really fast. See the other day she said, "isn't it nice that daddy and i are gettning along?" my only reply was, "i don't want to say anything, because i always speak too soon." and she said, "ohh thanks, that makes me feel real good" Well, i wasn't wrong! I have been trying really hard to be patient with my mother, but it's getting hard, sh never stops talking, then she starts yelling...and when i say she never stops talking, i mean more than usual! I guess she yelled at Flo today and when i came out of my whole (my room) this afternoon, she had already been yelling at Clauda for HOURS! about problems that aren't her own. Then she brought up all kinds of things to me, making me feel like i am worth less than a DIME! i'm going crazy, i don't know what to do.She is so "depressing" that it makes everyone around her either "depressed" -or- Angry! i don't know what to do right now....kind of feeling hurt from a few different angles of life right now.

Fasting

2006-01-10T12:40:00.000-08:00

Ok, so last night i was discussing "life" with my daddy, not exactly our lives, but life in general and he brought up how some people don't have T.V.'s and even some who do, don't have cable....Then i kind of randomly brought up the idea of fasting from television and it got me thinking of an awesome blog entry, so here it is.... Do i am kind of the only person in my house that EVER FASTS! And i always have to explain how fasting can be from anything, not only food....But not only do i fast from things that have multiple meanings and places in my life, but that time is replace with worshiping God. My family tends to ask me why i do such things, but read the above sentence, why shouldn't i do what i do?So then i began to ponder over how many people i know that always watch television; i don't mean like an hour -or- two, i mean like 20 hours of their day is dedicated to television, playing video games, web browsing, talking on the telephone, hanging out with friends, boyfriends -or- girlfriends; Just think of what could improve....if at least a few people spentthat time on worshipingGod -or- just praying; In the Bible it says, " Pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for us youin Christ Jesus" PRAY CONTINUALLY! Most people only pray once -or- twice a day, at the most! Worshiping is not only singing, though singing is a beautiful way of worshiping God the Father, you can worship Him through your actions and words. If you don't want to "worship" -or- pray, try taking up some of that time by reading God's Holy word (the bible, for those who didn't catch that one...) I don't knowwhat else to say, so just let this one setlle in, yeah, eat it up like a fat kid on a cupcake...it's tasty!

i flippin love this one.....

2006-01-03T21:12:00.000-08:00

my eyes look so awesome! lol~*~ and my hair was really cute that night, so yeah, i like this picture....

What's Wrong?

2006-01-03T12:48:00.000-08:00

Every night, before I fall asleep, usually early morning, I lye in bed and think about life, just in general. Last night, I was sitting up, folding laundry and I began to wonder why the guy's always look at the girls who show off their body to the world, instead of the girl who believes that her body belongs to her, not everyone else. Think about it; The girl showing off her body is not JUST showing it to you, she is showing it to everyone! But the girl that is more conservative is not showing her body off to the world like it's a new car, no, instead she keeps it to herself, which leaves you (the guys) wondering and if you (the guys) get to the point of ever getting to see her body, it will be an amazing gift that only you will get and you don't have to share with the rest of the world. Another thing; Why do teen girls dress like they should be adult film stars? Seriously, i see girls dressing like hookers, because they want to feel "Sexy" But "Sexy" and "Slutty" are two completely different things! Let's not forget to mention that "Sexy" was made for the bedroom, not the streets! I hate walking through "Downtown" and seeing girls who look like they should be standing on an L.A. street corner, half past midnight, when they are really just hanging out with their "girlfriends" in mid-day-light! -or- looking across the street and seeing your fifteen year old neighbor girl breast feeding a new baby, because she decided to "keep this one" and she is one of the lucky few if her "baby's daddy" is still hanging around to help her out! --Turning the tables-- Girls, what is up with making fun of guys for having their "own style" yet you completely adore a guy who is obsessed with gorillas (G-Unit) ? Why do you "absolutely love" a guy who wear's his pant's to where the waist of his pant's is at his knees, yet you laugh at a guy who wears clothes that fit him? How is it that the "hottest guy in school" turned into a "total loser" over the summer, just because he now wears glasses -or- has braces? But that guy who can't see 4 feet in front of him and has crooked teeth is "Gorgeous!" ? Why is the sweetest guy in the world "LAME" because he is skinny -or- fat? But the jerk with the muscles is "so kewl" ? Why can a girl dress the exact opposite of what her personality say's about her and a guy can go from "so hott" to "so not" over a summer, just because a physical feature changed? Why can't people be themselves and still be adored for it? Why can't that one girl next door be realized for how beautiful she really is inside, instead of how nice her butt looks in those pants? Why can't the jock on the football field be admired for his humorous personality, instead of for picking on someone "less popular" than he is? What/Who made the "popular" people the judges of who everyone else is? Why can't we just be ourselves and let God the Father be the only judge?

i will play this song at my wedding

2006-01-02T21:36:00.000-08:00

Watch Video:

SAD BUT TRUE (FT. SF SYMPHONY) (Metallica)

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

My SYC trip....

2006-01-02T18:43:00.000-08:00

lol~*~ This is Kelly, in Shawna's underwear.......at the church we were staying at, in the morning, before we left to the convention center... This is Chris and Heather taking pictures of me, taking pictures of them, taking pictures of me.....

This is just me being weird, but it looks kind of creepy, so i like it...it has nothing to do with SYC, hints the black hair....:)

Sick at Home

2006-01-02T18:22:00.000-08:00

So Herbal tea's and other spiced tea's are all that i have been living on since i have been home...i hate being sick, it totally sucks! I like my new tea cup, lol~*~ i got it for Christmas, it say's "no Mistletoe required with a Hershey's Kiss in the middle....it was filled with Kisses :) My cousin bought it for me and told me to ignore the words, lol~*~ He's one funny bunny, he is....:-P Well, if anyone reading this lives near me -or- knows my address, lol~*~ SEND ME TEA!!!! tehe! Ok, well, i am going to make another post...on my MySpace blog, so ttyl! buh bye!

My December

2005-12-31T21:43:00.000-08:00

Guy: Happy birthday baby

Girl: Thank you, it just wouldn't be the same without you here Girls friends: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!Girl: Thank you all and thanks for coming ---------------------30 minutes later------------------------------------- Girls friend: Hey dude, I have to go, I can't stay here, I hate that guy, I'm going to kill him, but I don't want to ruin her birthdayGirls brother: Why? What's wrong with him?

Girls friend: He's cheating on her manGirls brother: Aww man....what a dick! Alright, i'll let some people know whats going on, later dude Girls brother: Hey mom and dad....**Tells them her boyfriend cheated on her** Girls mom and dad: Don't tell her, this is her day, she will find out eventually and handle it how she needs to ------------------------Later that evening--------------------------------- Girl: Wow that was pretty boring, i would have gone crazy if you weren't there

Boy: **smiles** Well, i better get home now **hugs girl real tight**
Girl: **hugs back and thinks of forever** --------------------------------two days later----------------------------------------------- Girl: Thanks for coming shopping with me, i have no idea what to get him for Christmas
Girls friend: No problem, but before you spend all your money on him, you need to call **so and so**
Girl: Why, what's up?
Girls friend: please, just call him and ask about what everyone, except you knew on your birthday
Girl: ok... -----------------------Ring Ring------------------------------------ So and So: Hello?
Girl: Hey, what did everyone know the night of my birthday, but i didn't??
So and So: That guy you are dating is cheating on you, i saw him all over another girl
Girl: WHAT? **Starts to cry in the middle of the store** i have to go, come see me later tonight -------------------------------11:00 P.M. that night------------------------------------ **Car pulls up**
So and So: Hey!
Girl: **Drunk** Hey...
So and So: **goes to hug girl** i'm so sorry....
Girl: **pushes away** Don't touch me....everything i touch turns to shit!
So and So: **tells her the whole story** i'm going to go, call me later
Girl: thanks...bye ------------------------------Early that morning------------------------------------------- Girl: i can't believe he did this! i should have known! i can't take the pain anymore! **cuts her wrist and lays down with a cool bottle of Jim Beam** ---------------------------Christmas Eve-------------------------------------------------- Girl: hey hun, what's up?
Guy: we need to talk...
Girls: about what?
Guy: i cheated on you....
Girl: i know...you made out with someone else....
Guy: i don't even remember making out...
Girl: what do you mean, did you have sex with her!??!?!
Guy: Yes, i am so sorry....
**Silence**
Guy: i think we should break up, i need to think
Girl: think about what?
Guy:what i want
Girl: Well, let me know......... -------------------------------------day's later------------------------------------------------- Girl:Hey, have you thought about all that stuff?
Guy: Yeah, i think we are better off as friends...........
Girl: fine ** Wipes her eyes and walks away** ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ This girl had never been in a relationship that she didn't get hurt in, she thought this one would be different, when she found out that it was exactly the same, she wanted to die, thinking she would never find anyone to love, that would love her back. She took time off, went out with friends, did everything she could to get him off of her mind and still couldn't. This girl died inside Christmas eve and smile all day Christmas, just to please the world. This is wrong and shouldn't happen to anyone! If you are someone who has been through this, you deserve better, though you may never want better, you deserve it! God is writing your love story and he will find a way for you to get out of this jinxed life! He is preparing someone for you!! Just wait until that person is placed in your life!! God's arms are the perfect place to run! So run to him!
This is my story.....in fact, this is my statement.

-Shelynn Ray

I've been down to the bottom.....

2005-12-23T16:08:00.000-08:00

Well, i guess, having hit rock bottom all over again....i am glad to say that, yes, i have been down to the bottom, with stories that could scare an inmate -- Yet i know that everything is going to be alright, because i know that the most high cares. Well, life has been a little rough, but i'll make it through.....It's like when everything falls apart and the best you can do is get through...Each day, wonder will this ever end, is it always going to be this way. And the greatest lie you'll eveer be told is that your the only one to walk on this road. And no you'll never see the light of dawn, so we've come together to say hold on because we have all been there and found our way home, we promise you that you are not on your own, one day this will pass, God will see us all through. Last night Heather had said that Jesus has been through everything that we have been through, so i asked, "well if he never 'dated' that means he's never been cheated on" And sh ereplied with "Everyone on the earth is His wife and we cheat on Him with sin all te time." There really is NOTHING that we will eveer go through that He hasn't gone through as well. He will never give us something too hard to bare; He can help us through anything that life throws our way. God does all thing's with a purpose....anything that He works into our lives will "teach us something new" We will learn from each mistake and each success...Because even when the whole world has turned their back on us, He will still be there; When the most amazing person we know passes away and we feel as if there is no one to go to, Her will be there, to hold us in His arms; And yes, even when you know that your alive, yet you feel like your dead, he will bring you joy. Two of my favorite verses are Romans 8v.28 (in a nut shell) "God does all things for a reason." and i can't remember what verse it is, but God know's it has gotten me through some pretty hard times and it reads, "God is close to the broken hearted" There is this song that say's, "After all this has passed, i still will remain; After i have cried my last, there will be beauty from pain; Though it wont be today, someday i will hope again and there will be beauty from pain, you will bring beauty from my pain." -- To me, it seem's like there is no better way to say that. --

Thanks Giving

2005-11-19T21:12:00.000-08:00

Ok, Thanks giving is almost here and we got a 20LB turkey for $4.80! thats 24 cents a pound!! Well anyways.....i will be cooking a 20LB turkey for umm....my father and i? Wait, what!?!?!?!? I don't even eat meat!!! So yeah, my brother will be at his girlfriend's house and my mother will be in the hospital...Yes, though i am thankful for my mother not going to be here, meaning peacefulness....i at least wanted my brother to be home...But as always...Amanda comes first....Ohh well...anyways~*~ Can we say left overs? Who want's a turkey sandwich?!!? Well, i am off, later!

Failure -or- a push to make it in this world???

2005-11-16T22:43:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I am starting home school as of tonight and exactly as I figured it, "Al" my recent teacher/missions instructor/big brother think's that I am nothing more than a failure. Let me explain in fuller detail; I play "mom" in my house; I do the laundry, wash the dishes, cook the meals, clean the house and take care of the animals and garden. With me going to school, I was gone from about 10:30 A.M. until about 4:00 P.M., coming home, making dinner, doing dishes, taking a shower and starting the laundry. Since Halloween....I have been leaving around 5:00 -or- 6:00 P.M. to go over to "Fred's" house to spend time with him, which meant less time working on the house. My father decided that I needed to start home schooling again, so that I would be home more often than not. I argued about the subject for about and hour before I said, "Yes Sir" and e-mailed "Joe" the pastor/home school principle (His son is "Al") When "Joe" told "Al" what I had brought to attention, "Al" was disappointed in me and said, (in a nut shell) "She is just letting herself go and is going to fail" THANKS!!!!! That honestly hurt....but more so made the 'rebel' in me come forth; making me want to push harder than ever before and succeed in what I know I can do. My only thought now, "Sit in the front row at my graduation "Al" so that you can see the detail in my facial expression when I am flipping you off"

Where should I run?

2005-11-15T23:13:00.000-08:00

Where do you go when everything from your past comes rolling back into your life, like a flash of lighting from an unalarmed storm? Should you run to the new guy in your life and let him know how messed up things really are? Should you run to someone who calls themself your friend, yet always seems to change the subject back to their own well being? Do you turn to a parent who will do nothing but take every word you give them and only use it against you in the future? Who do you turn to? Where can you run? If to run, where will you hide? Lifes schemes were made to bring you down. Made to make you fall when you feel that you have reached the highest point possible. Made to make you feel as if you can never succeed for the simple fact of complications. No one on this earth can ever explain to me why life is what it is. -Or- why life does what it does. Lets happen what happens. Carries on with all of the wrong things that happen and never go away. So tell me....where do i go from here?

My Thoughts

2005-11-07T18:22:00.000-08:00

When the whole world is spinning out of control...... When the whole world is spinning out of control and you just stop to breath; It all stops. Just a few months ago, I was in the most amazing relationship I had ever been in; He was amazing when it started...it went WAY downhill, yet in my eyes, he was still amazing. So when we broke up for the final time, all I wanted was to have him back; He reacted as if he hated me with the most ironic passion. Knowing that everything was officially over, I gave it a few months and then decided to move on. And THAT is when I met "The New Guy" knowing nothing, but the fact that I had once gone to school with him and hung out with him maybe two times at the most; I spent hours online; asking numerous questions every night. After speaking every night, for a month -or- more "The New Guy" and I decided to spend Halloween together; Knowing that we both had mutual feelings towards one another, we both awaited the complicated question, "Will you go out with me?" We spent the whole night, having fun, talking, listening to music, hanging out with friends and just enjoying time well spent; together. The end of the night came, I gave him a hug with the wonder in my mind, "why didn't he ask?" rushing into my house and onto the computer, to speak to "The New Guy" i awaited the time for hours of questions. When the time came, I knew my first question, hoping that I knew his first as well. I asked, "So, why didn't you ask me out tonight?" As he replied, "i don't know, i was being a sissy" "hahaha! Your turn" my question came to a conclusion. "will you go out with me?" He asked. As i sat and pondered, happy that he asked what i had hoped for, i looked at the clock and thought over all of our past conversations; "I'll take that as a no..." He said before I could answer. "No, yes...." is all I could think of to say. "Yes, I will go out with you" i secured my answer with a smiley face. As our conversation carried on and we planned the next date to see each other, I began to multitask by checking my MySpace account; Seeing that I had a new message, I checked it wondering who it would be. "What's Up?" -- I had recieved a message from my ex. --A week later-- "He might be 'awesome' but can he love you like I loved you?" -- I received another message from my ex. Pondering over his message, I replied wondering what he meant. "Read my blog" he said to me. As i read his blog, my mind came to confusion; "What am I suppose to be seeing?" I asked, with more detail then I would like to post. "Never mind, I guess you are too stubborn to read between the lines" He replied. Confused, wondering why he chose to begin playing mind games with me, I continued asking what he wanted me to see when I read his blog. --A few nights later-- I was laying in bed, wide awake, after having my brother tap my back, asking to use my phone, I began to think about life's conflicts and schemes; I thought of what it was "my ex" wanted me to think; Then I thought of how happy I am with "The New Guy" and as much as it hurts, I'm happy. So I began to do the only thing I am good at; write. Spending hour after hour writing poetry and thoughts in a black and green spiraled notepad, I finally fell back into a deep sleep. "Hey Sis! What's this one about?" I heard my brother ask as I jumped up from his exclamatory voice. "what is what about?" i asked, rubbing my eyes. "This new poem, I have not seen this one, and it is dated early today." He pointed to the date on the page with a questionable look on his face. "Ohh, just some thoughts from what's going on right now" i answered him with a short sigh. "Care to explain why "my ex" is included? Your not getting back together with him, are you?" he asked with worry in his voice. "No "Brother", I am happy with "The New Guy", very happy." I said with a smile; my mind had been made up that very moment. All that I had been through with "my ex" and all of the 'feelings' that had accumulated, just by the look in "my brother"'s eyes and the worry in his voice, I knew that "this" was real....i knew that it was definitely time for me to move on; and "The New Guy" is the perfect choice.

results about me

2005-10-08T20:47:00.000-07:00

Your soul is caring. Other people are your concern, even if you don't know them. If you see a person trip you worry is he is okay. You put your loved ones first and you're very mature. When someones sick you're nurturing and always try to help family and friends when failure strikes them. You can be called the motherly one, if you are in a group of people, which doesn't have to be bad. Love is something that's already in you and you have a lot to give whether you believe it or not. Your friends probably love you very much and come to when they need help since you're reliable. People can feel secure with you and generally like you.

Kids Raising their parents....

2005-10-08T19:00:00.000-07:00

What is up with kids having to raise their parents now days....I have basically raised myself since i was like 7, my mother does drugs and my father is a stoner....My father can take care of himself most of the time, i still have to cook, clean and do the laundry...my mother however, i have had to take care of her since i can remember....She started doing drugs when she was 15 years old and that made her mind stick to the knowledge of a 15 year old girl. She is responsible for her actions, but yet isn't responsible with her actions; I am basically the 'mother' of my household and i am the youngest in the household....PARENTS! THAT IS WRONG!! any children that are in the same position that i am in, it is wrong! you should not have to take care of their parents! Parents should not have children if they are not going to be able to take care of their children! I hate seeing other kids who have the same problems that i have and are depressed from it...THAT makes me want to punch their parents in the face! I can't stand that... Serously, if you are 7-16 taking care of your 30-50 year old parents.....you shouldn't have to put up with that! Comment if you agree -or- disagree....

Life....

2005-10-06T22:22:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, Life is pretty good right now, Yet still annoying.... Patrick and i aren't together, at all anymore...Actually, we don't even talk unless he is trying to piss me off... Dan, Robert, Dylan, Mike, J.R. and Beau (and a few others) are all 'liking me' at the moment...When really, for the most part....they just want 'someone' to date....not only me...so, i say HAHAHA! too bad! :) Well, other then that...OMG! So many babies having babies now days, i know someone who knows someone, who knows someone whose daughter is pregnant and only 10!!!! Thats awful! c'mon parents! start watching out for your kids, yeah, i had to raise myself amd no, i'm not a virgin, but at least i waited until i knew what i was doing! Parents, seriously! look at how many kids are doing drugs, having sex and drinking at a younger and younger age, under your own roof! and you aprove of it! I know a girl who has a friend who started having right in front of her friend, in her living room, at her parents house!! WITH HER PARENTS HOME!!! Thats NOT OK!! a girl who used to be my best friend JUST had a baby (she's 16!) i know 3 other girls who are pregnant and another who just had a baby (she's 17) and out of all, the pregnant girls i know (5-7) only 1 is married, with a family and is 30! (old enough to actually suport a baby!!) And yeah, 9 10th of the law says thats the childs part....but the other 1 % is the parents fault....and thats not right!! i am not one to judge, yes i have had sex (But only 3 partners) and i know it's wrong....but i want to know other peoples opinions!

2005-07-22T19:52:00.000-07:00

The missions group after the Shine drama in front of the cross...Good Job Team! :)

2005-07-22T19:48:00.000-07:00

WOW! look, me in a dress, once in a lifetime experience! lol~*~ Me, and my brothers Tommy and J.R.

2005-07-22T19:47:00.000-07:00

me falling from like a 10ft. rock...It's called a trust fall...you have to trust everyone below you to catch you....Just like trusting in God to catch you and help you up after He does.

2005-07-22T19:46:00.000-07:00

Jesus coming out fo the tumb (SP!?) Isn't that amazing?

2005-07-22T19:44:00.000-07:00

Missions Group pic -- Lesa, Shane, Tasha, Lisa, Nicole, David, Rabeca, Michael, Tim, Me, Rachel, Sam and Duane

2005-07-22T19:43:00.000-07:00

The Human Cross from the Shine drama -- top to bottom -- Tasha, Rachel, Tim, Michael and Kelsey -- Sides -- LEFT - Me RIGHT - Nicole

2005-07-22T19:41:00.000-07:00

(the Soldiers and I) Heather sayd it's like Magalia behind me...This pictures says SO much! it's like the Evil of your past...and you standing ahead of it with the Lght of God on you.

2005-07-22T19:40:00.000-07:00

This is Amanda and my brother Tommy, they have been dating for like EVER now! :)

2005-07-22T19:39:00.000-07:00

This is my bro a year ago! On his 18th b-day... So sad :( growing up so fast....

2005-07-22T19:38:00.000-07:00

This is Cycle Down (before they had Lewis) They are one of the most rockin bands EVER!

2005-07-22T19:37:00.000-07:00

This is Michael! Tehe! what a cutie! :) (sorry it's so blurry!)

2005-07-22T19:36:00.001-07:00

Me force feeding Josh, with the help of Bella...lol~*~

2005-07-22T19:36:00.000-07:00

Earl and Chris, the mission boys from M.S. (is Earl pinching Chris' nipple? lol~*~ )

2005-07-22T19:35:00.000-07:00

me sleeping -- Starting of the Shine drama

2005-07-22T19:34:00.001-07:00

Outside of Bible study Monday night -- Josh, me, Michaela and Todd --

2005-07-22T19:34:00.000-07:00

Me (Svetlann, Shelynnifer, Telulifer, Smirfette, and any other nickname you can think of) Bible study Monday night (With Burgundy hair, you KNOW it was before camp! tehe!)

2005-07-22T19:32:00.000-07:00

Muffin! (Tim) in the Shine drama

2005-07-22T19:31:00.000-07:00

Mission Kids, David, Rachel, Corrine, Sam, Lisa, Nicole, Tim and off to the side...Kelsey Tehe! Awesome team!

2005-07-22T19:16:00.000-07:00

Michael, Bella and I after the Shine drama Youth Camp 2005

2005-07-22T19:15:00.001-07:00

Muffin and Svetlanna (Tim and I) Last day of Youth Camp

2005-07-22T19:15:00.000-07:00

Me after the Shine drama with my baby girl Bella (my youth leaders doughter)

Get on your knees and in His word!

2005-07-22T18:25:00.000-07:00

If you are not a Christian, then why bother speaking? If you are not spreading the word of God -or- at least speaking as God wants us to, then why bother wasting His air? It's as simple as getting on your knees and into His word! "Confess with your mouth that God is Lord" Live your life FOR and WITH God...i promise you, that you will be happier.... No, lif will not be perfect, but wtih God the father in your life...it makes it easier to live... All you have to do is pray. Romans 10v.8-10 says, "Salvation that comes from trusting Christ--which is the message we preach--is already within easy reach. in fact, the scripture says, 'the message is close at hand; it is on our lipsand in our heart.' For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For this is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved." Let God be your strength....God will never give you a task too strong for you to accomplish. You find strength in God and only God and there is nothing in the world that can ever out do you. Philippians 4v.13 says, "For i can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength i need." That is So true! (tehe! my friends favorite verse too! How awesome is that?!) I have been in situations where i don't think i can make it another day and it's only because i am trying to get myself through it, instead of letting God get me through it...So i say again, GET ON YOUR KNEES AND INTO THE WORD!

God Of Wonders

2005-04-22T22:07:00.000-07:00

There is a song that says "God of wonders beyond our galaxy" I think that is by far one of the most amazing things i have ever heard, in two ways, depends on how you take that. See, "God of wonders" A: could mean 'God of wonderful things' B: could mean 'God of many wonders', not know why he does what he does. To me, it means a little bit of both....i always wonder why God is doing what he does...and i never know until i realize that what he did was for a good cause. So for that, it still kind of works both ways, because what he did caused something wonderful. What way do you take it? Send me a message to let me know....there is no right -or- wrong answer, don't worry! Have you ever thought that the world was against you and everything that was happening would never make anything be good again? I know for a fact that i have felt that way a million times! 3 years ago, this guy that i cared deeply about, that i had been dating for 9 months broke up with me and told me that he had been cheating on me the whole time....then his family tried keeping him away from me...i thought i was going through hell. I told myself everyday that i was never going to date again until i was 18. Last year at my youth camp i accepted God as my Lord and Savior...a month later i was going out with a guy who treated me incredible, then i was telling myself everyday that no one could ever break us up, i knew it wasn't love, but i thought that we would be together forever. 2 months and 24 days later, God brought back an old friend of mine, the second i saw him, i knew that i wanted to be with him and NEVER, EVER be with another man, 8 days later, i broke up with the guy that i said i would never part from and started dating that old friend. For the first 2 weeks, i was unsure if what i did was a good thing, 6 months and 9 days later, him and i broke up. I had fallen away from my walk with God and started living by my own rules, because it pleased ME! "God of Wonders beyond our galaxy". God took away these other guys that i didn't love, but i cared deeply about and bluntly showed me love. Love that Only He could ever give me. It wasn't all that simple though...Even before i knew god, i would ask a higher power to show me love...I finally found God and i prayed to him for 6 months, "Lord, show me love" and he did. NO ONE should and will ever be put before God....And after acknowledging that and praying about it, God said, "ok, here you go, here is your love, It is Me" "God Of Wonders Beyond Our Galaxy" "You Are Holy" Pretty awesome, huh!?

Life Throws Curve Balls....PRAY!

2005-01-24T14:05:00.000-08:00

Sometimes life will throw you a curve ball...and all you can do as it is coming your way is pray that you hit it and win the game! In my Devotion this morning it reads: Transformed by beholding. "We all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the asme image." The greatest charactoristic a Christian can exhibit is this completely unveiled openess before God, which allows that person's life to become a mirror for others. When the spirit fills us, we are transformed, and by beholding God we become mirrors. The most important rule for us is keeping our lives open to God. Never let a hurried lifestyle disturb the relationship of abiding in Him. This is an easy thing to allow, but we must guard against it. The most difficult lesson of the Christian life is learning how to continue "beholding as in a mirror the golry of the Lord..." I don't know about you, but that really spoke to me in SO many ways. i wil.l continue this later. bye!

Merry Christmas!

2004-12-25T08:16:00.000-08:00

whats up!? Merry Christmas! and Happy New Year if i don't get around to getting back online before then....i have a busy week ahead of me...i am going to State Youth Conference (SYC) from the 29th-31st, then i am expecting to spend new years eve with my boyfriend... So i just wanted to get to a few people and say hi! and Happy Holidays! My Birthday was incredible! i had some of my closest friends over (including my boyfriend,HAHA!) Christmas (today) my boyfriend (Patrick) his little brother (Nathen) and his daddy (Doug) are going to come up for Christmas dinner and some gift openings,hehe!! Incase anyone is wondering...Patrick and i have been dating for 2 months on the 1st of January. We knew eachother since we were about 6-10 then he moved to Stockten and just moved back to Magalia about 3 months ago...He has been going through so many changes in his life style...he Accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior on Wed. November 24, 2004. So it is truly amazing watching G-d work in his life. I went to meet his family (grandma, grandpa and other relatives) yest. (Christmas Eve) they were truly incredible, i had a blast! Well, i must get going, gotta wake up my brother and get dinner started, hehe! at 8:00 A.M.! (thats insane!!) hehe! Bye! ~*~Love Always~*~ ~*~Shelynn~*~

....wow moment.....

2004-11-09T22:29:00.000-08:00

Hey yall, whats up!? As for me...wow! A lot...someone who means the world to me is leaving because of lies...someone else who means the world to me has completely left my life and is not even thinking about coming back into it...Umm...my mother is so extremely sick that it is scary! My brother found a girl who lights his eyes like stars in the sky and the youth group i go to is spitting, half is great and getting to know the Lord better and the other half is fighting and completely hating eachother and ohh my....my poor youth leaders....they have to put up with the youth group...and the church janetor...lol~*~ i have been repeating the same thing over and over in my head..."God help me, keep me moving somehow...don't let me start fallin' apart right now, i've made it this far without shedding a single teer...." and "i'd sure hate to break down....it's too late to turn around...i'd sure hate to break down here...." and if anyone listens to country music...you have heard that in different words....yeah, guess what....IT'S NOT JUST LYRICS!!! Honey, i hate to break it to ya....but it's life!! the only thing i can do right now is keep praying and lookin' to the heavens.... I feel so awful right now...a really special friend of mine got hurt by lies...and he turned to drugs...and i just wish that he would have prayed -or- found some other way to take away his pain...so please say a small prayer for my friend to find himself back in God's arms...So many people i know are letting their lives fall apart lately...and it's awful! i hate seeing my friends and family going through pain...i tears me apart inside! and all i can do to help is pray...Ok well, i have got to get going now...i will try to update sooner next time...

nothing really..

2004-10-20T10:28:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, ok so i don't really have anything to say right now...and i will post later, but i just wanted to let everyone know that YES, I AM STILL HERE!! i just haven't been online much lately...

~~Continued~~

2004-09-17T17:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, so i need to continue that last post...Where was i...ohh yeah! ok, i already talked about RESPECT and TRUE LOVE, now i want to talk about FRIENDSHIP... There are SO, SO many people in this town that don't really even know what FRIENDSHIP really is, they call eachother friend, they hang out with eachother, they gossip, they share secrets, they talk behind eachothers backs.....wait-- i didn't know you were supose to talk about a FRIENDS behind their back.... So why do so many people do it!? most of the time it is..."Ok, i promise i wont tell anyone" ~*~turn around~*~ "Ohh my God Fred! Guess what Bob just told me!!" This is NOT a real FRIENDSHIP!! This happens WAY too much, all it really is, is imature!! Thats another thing i want to talk about...MATURITY, EVERYONE today says that they are So0o0o0o0ooo MATURE....Well, is talking behind someones back MATURE!? Is getting in an arguement -or- a fight MATURE!? Is cheating on your boyfriend -or- girlfriend MATURE!? I DON'T THINK SO!!!! Stop lying to everyone and saying you are MATURE when your not!! Take a minute and think to yourself....are you really as MATURE as you think...!? Probably NOT!! When was the last time you talked bad about someone, then pretend to be their friend, when was the last time you cheated on your boyfriend, girlfriend -or- even a test!? When was the last time you were IMATURE!? One more thing i want to talk about is DRUGS, how many people reading this post KNOW that they are doing some kind of DRUG!? WHY!!!??!!! Do you really want to throw your life away with all that CRAP!? Take it from me...it doesn't make you kewl, it doesn't make you feel better, it doesn't take the 'pain' away and it doesn't calm you down!! It actually makes you look and sound dumb, it makes you feel like crap when the 'high' is over, it just makes that pain stop while you are on the 'high' because you can't concintrate and it makes your heart race, which makes it impossible for you to 'calm down'. So now try to explain why you do whatever DRUGS you do...OK, this is all i have to say....until my next post....

some things...

2004-09-13T13:28:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, sorry it's been taking me a while to update my blog lately... I don't really have any scripture to put in today, but i do have a few subjects to talk about...Ok, the first thing i want to talk about is RESPECT, like fighting in a church in the middle of youth group...how disrespectful is that!? Just this last Thursday at youth group, there were a few kids there that don't always go...and one had a skateboard that my friend...we'll call him Jay...had his feet on...and the kid that owns the skateboard....we'll call him Edd....took his skateboard and wrote something very rude and DISRESPECTFUL on it then gave it back to Jay, knowing that Jay would look at it and get upset over it. It started a fight in the middle of youth group!! Thats awful! our youth leaders wife Heather was trying to talk to the youth group about being crushed mentally about things and in the middle of her speach this kind of stuff happend! It showed exactly what she was talking about!!! Ok, the next thing i want to talk about is TRUE LOVE, i have already had one post about love, but this is different. Recently i have been in a relationship that wasn't love...no, not even close! And anytime i would mention this guy everyone would say, "ohh, your LOVER!?" -or- "ohh, you LOVE him!" And i have to sit there and tell them that it is not LOVE, then they look at me like, "then why are you with him!?" And i also hear teenagers and kids all the time talking about how they 'LOVE their boyfriends -or- girlfriends' and i just think, 'does anyone actually knwo what LOVE is anymore!?' it's crazy, i am honestly too scared to fall in LOVE because the person i might fall in LOVE with might not even know what LOVE is!! Ok, well i will have to continue this post later....gotta get to class...

Mosh Pit!

2004-09-05T13:21:00.000-07:00

Hey you guys, i don't really have much to say, except i have been seeing God work in so many lives this weekend! it has been so awesome! i have been going to JoshuaFest in Quincy, and it is just a whole bunch of bands and groups....all kinds of concerts and stuff, moshing has been going on every night! it's awesome!! and my friend made me think yest. she said, "you know how it says if their are more then one person in one area worshiping and praising God, then God is in the area..." that is so awesome, because there are SO, SO many people at JoshuaFest! and you can just feel the presence of God....ok, well i am hurting physically right now...and so i am going to go, more later.

~~love~~

2004-08-30T16:55:00.000-07:00

Have you eveer been in love!? Ya know the feelings you had for that person!? Times that by as many times as you possibly can and that is how much Jesus loves you! and EVERYONE! Ok and to the parent's reading this post, you know that love you feel for your children, now times that by as many times possible! It's incredible how much Jesus loves us, no matter how many times we mess up...I mean, i have messed up SO many times...and Jesus STILL loves me! it's so awesome! Ok, teenager's...i know how we can be, because i used to be the same way, you start dating a someone...and you write "i love ????" EVERYWHERE possible...more then likely..it wasn't real love, it was just a crush -or- a strong crush. I read once, "friendship ties a string around two people, a relationship ties a rope around two people, but true love wraps a chain around two people." Now God's love is more then a true love between two people, it's for over a million people, that means he has over a million chains wrapped around him! Isn't that awesome?! Imagine being so strong that you are able to break over a million chains...but never wanting to...have you ever had something that you are able to do, but don't actually want to...and your SO, SO temped just to do it one time -or- just test it a little bit!? God isn't even tempted to do it (now that would be hard) He loves us all SO much! If you have ever been in love, you know that you would do anything, just so that the one you love wouldn't have to feel a single ounce of sadness -or- hurt....and you would know how bad it makes you feel when that person is sad -or- hurting...imagine how Jesus feels when we are sad -or- hurt...thats such an intense thought...ok, well i hope i made since...and i hope i spoke to you all in some way...i'll try to write again soon.

Youth Rally

2004-08-21T22:49:00.000-07:00

Ohh my...tonight was so, so awesome! There was a youth rally and it was so awesome being able to see friends from camp, worship the Lord and pray with some of the kewlest people you have met! Tonight we did this thing....Duane passed out 1 marble to everyone and the marble stood for any problems -or- feelings you wanted to get off your chest (kinda...Duane explained it better) But, it was awesome! If you wanted to get rid of whatever that marble may have meant to you, Duane lit a candle and you would go up and put the marble under the candle. So many people gave up whatever they had in that marble....Though it was hard for a few people, some people were so happy to let those things go. A few people cried, which was awesome! Because that means the Lord was speaking to them and working with them, you could just feel the spiritual war fare (did i spell that right!?) And it is really such a great experience to witness something like that happening, it shows how the Lord WILL fight for you and he WILL win! All in all it was an eciting time! I also went to a 'Tea' kind of thing at the church, we sang, drank tea, and talked to the people next to us about all sorts of things, Deberah...Props! Hun i could NEVER get up there and sing like that! You are truly such and insperation to me and SO many other people too. Well, i must be going now, i will write again soon, bye everybody!

Hey everybody!

2004-08-19T17:03:00.000-07:00

Hey people, i am at church right now, waiting for youth group to start....so i decided i would update my blog...:) Ok, so how is everyone doing today!?:) ok, today i am going to talk about sinning, cuz it seems like a fun thing to talk about! hehe!! :) Galatians 5:16 says, "So i say, live by the spirit, and you will not gratify of the sinful nature" Ok, now how true is that!? :) We all know how most nonchristians think...."...ohh, Christians can't sin, so they can't have fun..." (thats what SO many nochristians always say to me) Well, guess what!? IT'S NOT TRUE! Everyone sins! There is only ONE person who has never sinned and Thats Jesus! But by living by his spirit, it helps you to think about most sins before you commit them. Another thing i hear from a lot of nonbelievers is, "when you are a christian, you have too many rules/laws to live by!" Well in Galatians 5:18 it says, "But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law" I think that explains itself pretty well....:) Galatians 5:19-21 says, "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious; sexual imorakity, impurity and debauchery; Idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkeness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as i did before, that those who live like this will not enharit the kingdom." Galatians 5:22-26 says, "But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithful, gentleness and self control. Against such Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with it's passions and desires. Since we live by the spirit, let us keep in step with the spirit. Let us not becom conceited, provoking and envying each other." Ok, now tell me how awesome that is!! hehe!! That alone can say SO much to anyone! i say, tell some of your nonchristian friends those same verses and pray that they listen....and i bet you they will atleast think a little different about the 'laws' of being a christian....:) Ok, well that is all i have for today. I hope that you all enjoyed my lil blog for today...:)

Keep Looking Up!

2004-08-15T00:46:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody! What's up!? As for me, I am still pretty sick, I went to Rock 'N' Bowl tonight, it was SO awesome, because Sam and like several people from the youth group went too! :) So yeah, ok...my week has been pretty harsh, BUT! I am TOTALLY still looking up, praising God and asking for SO much forgiveness! Ok, have you ever been in a situation where you feel like everything in your life is going wrong!? Well, i have a little advise! :) First, turn to Jesus, let his spirit enter your mind and speak the way he would want you to. For example, say you have been arguing with your parent's and ALL KINDS of sinful thoguhts are just racing through your mind....Just simply ask, "Lord, please ermove these sinful thoughts from my mind." See, that usuallyworks for me, if it doesn't work for you, PRAY! And ask God to 'work his magic'...lol~*~ Adn don't forget to ask for forgiveness! God has a reason for EVERYTHING and he has a place in this world for EVERYONE! So if you trust in Jesus, and put your life in the Lords hands. Let the Lord have his way with you! It may sound kind of crazy, but i, myself, put my life in the Lords hands completely! And i am still able to smile in almost any circumstance! :) Ok, well...that is all i have for today. ttyl, tccirc, love ya! L8erz! ~*~Love Always~*~ ~*~Shelynn~*~

Nothing really

2004-08-07T22:57:00.000-07:00

Wow, So much has gone on this passed week! A missionaries group was up in Magalia, from IL, they were such an awesome group! very nice people! and SO encouraging! Well, i really have nothing to say besides that, except for it has been an awesome week and i have seen the Lord working in SO many lives this week! well, i will try to write again soon. Bye!

Something On Your Mind!?

2004-08-01T22:09:00.000-07:00

Hey, how is everyone!? As for me, well...i'm feeling kinda sick still, but i got baptized today, so it's all good!! :) I think Pastor Doug (SP?!?) was about to cry....lol~*~ he had to take a min. :) And afterwards it was SO awesome, everyone was hugging me and congradulating me!! I almost cried reading the card Heather and Sam (and the kids) got for me...THANKS GUYS!! :) Ok, so is anyone having problems in their lives right now and you just don't know what to do about them!? Well, i have this AWESOME book yall should take a look at, i'll even give you some things to read from a few of the chapters...:) Go To The Good Book And Take A Good, Long, Hard Look!! Death: Death always brings sorrow. But a Christian's sorrow is eased by hope: "We do not want you to...grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesue, those who have fallen asleep with him." 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 Death is an enemy. But when Jesus returns, God has promised to "Wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death -or- mourning -or- crying -or- pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelations21:4 Stress: "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and i know what it is to have plenty...I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:11-13 Guilt: "Their sins and lawless acts i will remember no more." Hebrews 10:17 God's way is better. "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord -- And you forgave the guilt of my sin." Psalm 32:5 School: "Whatever you do, whether in word -or- deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:17 Addiction: "Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires...You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature, but by the Spirit if the Spirit of God lives in you." Romans 8:5, 9 Entertainment: "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- If anything is excellent -or- praiseworthy -- Think about such things." Philippians 4:8 <---that was our theme for camp!!:) Prayer: "This is how you should pray: 'Our Father....' Mathew 6:9 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God...will guard your heart and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philppians 4:6-7 Witnessing: "Do not worry about what to say -or- how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you." Mathew 10:19-20 Self Image: "You have taken off your old self with it's practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge of it's creator." Colossians 3:9-10 THE TRUE YOU IS THE NEW YOU THAT YOU'RE BECOMING!! Still worried about the way you look? Remember they're temporary. They will change. "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:18 Ok, so...does that help at all!? lol~*~ Ok, i have a question for everyone... What does Love mean to you!? I'm talking unconditional love...:)

Whats Up Today....

2004-07-31T17:12:00.000-07:00

Today, nothing happend at all! lol~*~ i slept until around 12:30 P.M. but i woke up every hour since 3:30 A.M.!!! Uhh ok, time to get down to it! Do you ever wonder what you COULD have if you just simply had Jesus in your life!? It's really as simple as just accepting the Lord and you could have anything and everything! For Example: Not having the Lord in your life - "today my day was horrible! i just wish that i would die! i have NOTHING! i am going no where in life!" With the Lord in your life - "today was horrible, but i sat down and talked to the Lord for a little bit and now my day is going a little better! It's SO great to be alive during this time! I can't wait to see what God has planned for my future!" Ok, now do you see the difference!? I know that was totally cheesey, but that's really what it's like! For me, i know....Because up until just last month, i wasn't really taking God seriously and now i find myself going all out Jesus freak on people i don't even know! :) It's awesome! And SO many people have seen a HUGE difference in me already!! I have a question for everyone. Do you think you are going to go to Heaven -or- Hell!? Why!?